Getting to the heart of behavior

Getting to the HEART of behavior

All note credit goes to Tedd Tripp. 

Video clip by Tedd and Margy Tripp

Oh, how I loved hearing Tedd Tripp in person. I have read Shepherding a Child's Heart.                   But to see him; that was very special. Because in person, it was as if I was sitting in a grandpa's living room hearing him share his heart. Dr. Tripp referenced his grandchildren so often while he was sharing. His love for his own children, his grandchildren, and families in general was very evident! 

The heart is our wellspring. The core of our being! 

well·spring

ˈwelˌspriNG/

noun

literary

1. an original and bountiful source of something.

   
   

   
   

   Our body is the mediator of actions, but our heart is the INITIATOR!

   
   

   

   
   

   We, as parents, get very focused on the "appearance" of our kids.

   "What will others think?" 

   
   

   OUCH

   
   

   Whatever you treasure OWNS your heart!

   
   

   Jesus turned the law upside down and says it is not about external behavior, but rather what is coming from your heart. Not that outward behavior doesn't matter, but our behavior is an outflow of our heart....thus, a big cycle, hamster wheel, merry go round. Behavior without motives of the heart being revealed may last for a while, but ultimately others will SEE our heart through our actions. 

   
   

   

   
   

   Matthew 15:17-20

   Mark 7:20-23

   
   

   Apart from grace, we are ALL depraved. Me, my children. We are one in the same. 

   Jesus. His grace. His forgiveness. 

   That's it. That's the answer! 

   No gimmicks. No schemes. No books. No disciplinary techniques. 

   Just JESUS and His grace!

   
   

   I posted a few days ago about words and how they matter. 

   Do they? Yes. But, perhaps words aren't the issue?! 

   Quite possibly, my vision was askew when writing that. 

   Although my words are important, it's the way I say them. 

   The meaning behind them. 

   The undercurrent running through them. 

   The "heart" of them. 

   I need to focus on my heart condition FIRST. 

   Trying to "control" my words, especially in regards to training my children, will never work. 

   In my own strength, my words will not be useful for training. Because...

   

   
   

   
   

   I loved this line from Dr. Tripp. 

   
   

   "When we shame or guilt our kids, it shows that we have NO joy!" 

   This is manipulating their behavior instead of reaching their heart. 

   It should be our desire to help them see their need to have God "create in them a clean heart". 

   Their real need from their parents is to see the grace and love of Jesus in and through us, 

   which will ultimately point them to the heart of God. 

   
   

   

   

   
   

   
   

A Mother Matters

2 Kings 22 reminds me that a mother matters!

• Josiah was eight years old when the became king.
• His mother was Jedidah.
• He did what was pleasing in the Lord's sight and followed the example of his ancestor David. 
• He did not turn aside from doing right. 

As I read through 2 Kings 22, I couldn't help thinking of what a brave mother that Josiah had. She must have guarded his heart well. The previous two chapters talk about how wicked his grandfather, King Manessah, and father, King Amon, were. So wicked that God said that he would turn total destruction on Judah because of their sins.

Jedidah must have trained her son in private. She must have had a Godly upbringing that she wanted desperately to instill in her child. Why do I believe she was desperate? Because Judah wasn't a little wicked. It was miserably wicked. I do not believe there were moms' Scripture studies or support groups for homeschoolers. No. I believe that she knew the responsibility that lay squarely on her shoulders since her son would one day become the king. 

Would he follow the pattern of his father? His grandfather was a very wicked man who had greatly angered the Lord. She must have known all of this. She also must have know the Living God who had once delivered her people long ago from the hands of slavery. Her parents surely passed that down to her and now her desire was to pass that down to her son. No just any son. A son that would one day become king. 

That day came much sooner than she thought. Only two years into King Amon's reign he was killed. That left her 8 year old son, Josiah, to be king. Was she relived? Scared? Excited? Terrified? Determined? 

Who knows? How would you feel if your 8 year old son became king? I personally don't believe it would be the joy ride some may think. Especially back then. Woman did not have say in matters. Her son would have basically been handed over to the advisors of the land. Those that were his fathers advisors. Men that were wicked as he had been. An 8 year old boy with power and fame and money...plus surrounded by and being led by wicked men. It doesn't sound like a fairy tale to a Godly mother. 

My mind believes that she was a bit panicked thinking that she hadn't had enough time.

This is only speculation of course, but my heart things that she was a bit desperate for answers. 

How could this be happening so suddenly. If only she had had more time to train him. 

Was he ready? 

Would he listen to her any longer since he was now surrounded by "advisors" that she had no control over?

Perhaps she was overjoyed and rejoiced that his father had died when Josiah was so young so that his influence wouldn't rest on him any longer. Only God knows?

But one thing I am quite sure of.....

She must have prayed! A lot! 

Joshiah did what was pleasing in the Lord's sight. 

He began restoration on the Temple of the Lord. 

While doing that, Hilkiah, the Hight Priest, found the Book of the Law. (vs 8)

The Court Secretary, Shaphan, returned to the king and read it to him. 

King Johiah tore his clothes in despair (vs 11) and had his adviser, Asaiah, go to the Temple and speak to the Lord for him and the people of all Judah. (vs 13). 

God said He would keep His word to destroy Judah because of their wickedness. BUT because King Josiah had humbled himself and wept in repentance, God heard him and promised to not send disaster until after King Josiah had died. However, King Josiah didn't leave it at that. he began a Spiritual Reformation with all the people of Judah. 

Mothers make a difference. 

Mothers matter. 

Mothers can lead their children in the ways of the Lord even with wicked fathers. 

She, Jedidah, was the minority in Judah. 

Others were not following God. 

She must have felt frightened and alone yet strengthened by faith to raise up her son, Johiah, to be a Godly king. Unlike so many generations before him. 

Yes, fathers are supposed to be the spiritual leaders, but that is not always the case. So others must protect, pray over, teach, train, and guide their children toward Jesus. Not just give in to the circumstances that surround them! Even when fathers are leading the home in a Godly manner, mothers are instrumental and key in the daily ins and outs and character building process!!!

Lord, help me never give in to the world around me! Help me always remember that my children were born for Your purpose. Help me prioritize! Help me discipline well. Help me love purely. Help me instill Your law in their heart's. Oh God, I surely will mess them up! Speak through me. Help me mother them with excellence. I can't do this in my own strength or wisdom. Help me be like Jedidah who went against the culture and raised a God-honoring leader!

If you could only teach three lessons???

Recent Facebook post:

"If you could pick just three lessons to teach your children what would they be?"

Today's family lesson. I know there's a lot to learn in life, but these were the three things we focused in on today.:) 

• Love God passionately. 
• Work hard and always try your best. 
• Be polite/respectful to everyone. 

Here's the responses I receieved: 

• Love, forgive and don't judge!!!;))
• Follow the laws (God's and the land's), Rise Above, Stay True.
• Always have faith, never lose hope,and to always share God's love with everyone.
• Fear the Lord, fear the Lord , fear the Lord.
• Always run to God. Respect others.  Be kind.
• To love God with all their heart, mind and spirit. To love one another and yourself. Biblical diligence.
• 1.To have a realtionship with God not a religion. 2. the order of the family: God (Him first and your relationship with Him); Hubby (your marriage according the the Word); children (raising them as servants of the Lord so when they get older they will not depart from it, hopefully raising them to be stroinger spiritually when they leave the home than I was) and then everything else comes into play, but if you mess the first three up then everything gets messed up. 3. To live the Word of the Lord in all you say and do is the greatest ministery anyone can have and to do that you have to know the Word of God and prayer.

I thought all of these were great answers! 

What would your three lessons be if that's all you could teach your children?

Fresh cut flowers

"What you do in your house is worth as much as if you did it up in heaven for our Lord God. 

We should accustom ourselves to think of our position and work as sacred and well-pleasing to God, not on account of the position and work, but on account of the word and faith from which the obedience and the work flow." Martin Luther

"Today, even in Christian circles, a homemaker's vocation is viewed as optional, replaceable, and more like a hobby to fulfill her own needs than as a vital asset to the family."

 Stacy McDonald - Passionate Housewives Desperate for God

Dorothy Patterson, a homemaker and  faculty member of the Criswell College says, 

"Of course, much of the world would agree that being a housekeeper is acceptable as long as you are not caring for your own home; treating men with attentive devotion would also be right as long as the man is the boss in the office and not your husband; caring for children would even be deemed heroic service for which presidential awards could be given as long as the children are someone else's and not your own." 

Today, my daughter wanted to put on the "pretty" tablecloth. 

It was time for another Home Group and she was eagerly cleaning up things. 

Not only was she helping me tidy up the house, she was enjoying it. 

What?! A 7 year old little girl...enjoying housework. 

I truly believe that God places inside of each of us a desire for the beautiful. 

A desire for order. 

A desire to share what we have with others. 

Do we always do it? 

I don't. 

She wanted to go and cut fresh flowers from our yard. 

They were beautiful and fragrant and special because she handcut each one and placed it in the vase. 

Did the young adults that come over notice them or care that she had done it? 

Probably not. 

And that's ok, because they were blessed just being in our home 

AND we were blessed by having them

AND my daughter was blessed by making it "pretty" for them. 

Win, win, win!

I want to foster her love for helping out around the house, 

loving on others, 

serving her family well, 

and knowing that loving others well matthers. 

Hard Work and Flexiblity

I'm very grateful that I was raised by a family that believed in working hard, doing what you said you would do, and not making excuses when you didn't complete the task. I have watched my grandparents and parents work hard their entire lives.

I just spoke with my "Granny" a few days ago and asked if I could say Hi to my "Pops" and she said that he was out helping an "older" man (my grandpa is turning 80 this year!) build a porch on his house and clean up some things. The "older" man had said that he'd like him to build the deck when he got enough money but Pops knew that he wouldn't have it anytime soon so decided to just go and build it for him. It has turned into a community project. My grandpa has went around asking his neighbors if he can have the old lumber that has been laying behind their homes for years to help this man out. They donated it willingly because they know my grandpa is helping someone that can't help himself. He has others involved with different clean up projects around this man's home and is hiring a lady to go and do a good cleaning of the inside.

It reminded me that he (and the rest of my family) have helped mold me into who I am today! They are not afraid of work. They are not afraid to get their hands dirty and complete a task. They are not afraid to see a need and do their best to help meet it. My grandpa is not a believer unfortently (please pray with me that he turns His heart to the Lord), but he is a good man that believes in hard work and in helping others. It makes me proud to be his granddaughter.

I pray that I can pass along a strong work ethic to my children.

Darlene Zchech says in the Art of Mentoring, "Work is nothing new for God's people. For generations, men and woman of God have worked hard and defied all odds to bring the gospel to all men. And that's my point: all this preparation means a lot of hard work, being generous with time and resources, working together to see the church be everthing she can be - simply stunning.

But to deprive our children and our spiritual children of these building blocks in life means we short-change them in developing tenacity and spiritual muscle. Even though we don't want to create ridiculous hardships for them just to prove a point, eventually they need to feel the weight of responsibility on their shoulders.

Flexible things are rarely broken - they simply spring back when the stretch is over!

While trying to protect our spiritual and natural kids from everything, we strengthen them for nothing, raise them to be idle and to hide, train them to run from conflict. The meeting in the middle is that in order to train them to lead, they have to partake in all that life has to offer, the highs and the lows, yet be given the tools to overcome their trials and share in the seasons of blessing."

Let's not shy away from training our children to work hard and be flexible!

The ABC's of Christian Parenting

A - Affirm who your children are in the Lord.

B - Build a foundation of love and trust. 

C - Communicate openly and often. 

D - Discipline consistently and fairly.

E - Expect teh best of them. 

F - Forgive frequently. 

G - Give unconditinal love. 

H - Help them to grow spiritually. 

I - Invest time in them. 

J - Join in family night fun. 

K - Keep Christ central in your home. 

L - Live what you teach. 

M - Make your home atmosphere positive. 

N - Notice and commend achievements. 

O - Organize family vacations. 

P - Pray for them faithfully. 

Q - Quote Scripture when appropriate. 

R - Release them as they're ready. 

S - Set a good example. 

T - Train them well in the ways of the Lord. 

U - Understand their God-given gifts. 

V - Value each child individually. 

W - Welcome creativity. 

X - Explain why when you say no. 

Y - Yearn to see them become all they can be. 

Z - Zero in on Christian values.