I'd do it all again

"I'd do it all again, Mom."

Those where the words that's spilled out from my stubborn, fiery, precious, eyes watering 10 year old boy.

It'd been a great day. One with nothing out of the ordinary. Normal. Safe. Good. Productive.

Even dinner went well. Which involved a piece of beef and for the afore mentioned child that is not a pleasant meal. He'd rather have one filled with his precious carbs and carbs alone. He never minds some veggies thrown in the mix either. Yet, we made it through without food drama. Then the question was asked if he could spend time with daddy. Of course.....

But remember those pages of Science and English that lie untouched. Put off. Undone.

"Really Mom? Do I have to do that?" came spilling out without a thought.

So, here it was - the moment. The môment that I had to chose. Let it go. No.
Responsibility is a lesson far greater than what lay ahead in the 2 subjects staring back at him.

But here was the question.....why didn't I see that I was ready to be done with school for the day?!
That we all were ready to be done with school for the day.

After this many years I should have seen the signs and let him go peacefully and joyfully with his dad and sister.  But I didn't. Why? Because then he'd think that he didn't have to do it tomorrow or the day after that.

Is that true....

No. It was about me controlling the situation. It needed to get done so, by golly, he was gonna do it.
Oh Mandy.....(yes, this could lead right into a song)

So we sat. He figitted. I stewed.  No one won.  He got it done. It wasn't a big deal. He really didn't even complain much about it. However, we both had an edge to us as we sat there. He said he'd never get it done.  I said that was silliness. He was getting it done. And then he said the thing that took my mommy heart and torn it right up.

"Well, at least you won't have to deal with me tomorrow."

There my heart lay.  Smashed wide open.  Beating yet bleeding out on the floor right in front of us.

Tears stung my eyes as I realized that I'd made him feel this way. Like my day would be better off without him.  How could I have been so careless?  We sat in silence for a few moments. He was hurting and knew he'd hurt me which made him hurt more.

(Flashback to the day after his surgery. Yet the written words could be used for a variety of life's events.)

I said that this silly ol' schoolwork doesn't matter at all to me! It wasn't about the schoolwork. It was about obeying with a good attitude even if you don't want to.  He nodded that he'd understood. Then I said that I knew getting back into the groove after having two weeks off for his tonsilectomy was a challenge.  In trying to show him my love, I said that I had absolutely adored and cherished the time that we'd spent laying in bed together....just being with each other.  To that he said with wet eyes,

"I'd do the surgery again to just have that time with you."

There his heart lay. Raw and open for me, his mama, to see. He loved that time together as much as I did. Saying it healed both of our hearts a bit...well, a lot I believe. We both share some of the same stubbornness. The tendency to fight for what we believe in (or simply what we want at the moment). I know that. He knows that.

Does he remember how much pain he was in? The 11 pounds weight lose because nothing sounded good and every bite hurt? The 8 day fever that just wouldn't go away? Here he was saying he'd go through it all again to spend quality time with me, his mama. Now that's the way to bring it all back into perspective. It's about relationships!

That made me think of Jesus and the sacrifice that He made for me. For you. As painful as the crucifixion was, He would do it all over! Why?! Just to be with me. Just to be with you. Why?! Because He wants a relationship with each of us....and to do that He had to endure the pain and sins of the entire world.

And He'd do it all again.....

Growing Home: The Importance of Character in an Education

Growing Home: The Importance of Character in an Education | And a Double Giveaway!


Head over and check out Growing Homes post on the importance of character in an education!


It's got some really great things to ponder today.

Taken from the Growing Home post linked above:

In Kevin Swanson's book Upgrade, he shares nine major themes from the Book of Proverbs that are necessary in preparing our children for life and eternity:

• The Principle of the Tongue & Truth
• The Principle of Hard Work
• The Principle of Self-Control & Avoiding Temptation
• The Principle of Conflict Resolution & Getting Along with others
• The Principle of Fearing God
• The Principle of Receiving Reproof & Respecting Authority
• The Principle of Trusting God
• The Principle of Humility
• The Principle of a Virtuous Spouse*

Swanson goes on to quote a study done by Dr. Thomas Stanley, a man who has devoted his life to researching successful businessmen in America. He found that of 733 millionaires, the five most important factors to success in life were listed as follows:

• Telling the truth
• Self-discipline
• Getting along with people
• Having a supportive spouse
• Hard work

I do not currently own Upgrade, but am going to put it on my "wish list". I do have Kevin Swanson's "The Book of Proverbs: God's Book of Wisdom - Family Bible Study Series" and it is very good. 

This is the second school year that the kids and I have read a chapter in Proverbs that is in line with the day of the month. After reading through Proverbs a few times, Javon asked why we couldn't move on to something else. (We do other Bible reading during devotions.) I also thought, "Should we move on? Is this getting repetitive? But then decided that we had not mastered all that Proverbs had to offer so went on reading a chapter each day we were home together. Now, two years in, it's a wonderful habit that we've formed. Each time we read a chapter, we always find something that we need to work on. Some character flaw that needs improving. We're all a work in progress! 

It might be neat to take the above mentioned list of "The Principles" and have the kids (and myself) write out a list of verses that we see about each of those subjects. I think we might try that. ;-)

Regarding my last post on the Character Training Chart, I have a friend who home schooled all three of her well-rounded, lovely girls and she shared something they used to do with the chart. 

She would "ask the girls over the past week when they either saw someone do one of the attributes or they themselves did something that was on the chart. It helped them to not only be aware of those attributes but notice when others were doing them too. I had them write a paper, one page, on when and what they saw." I thought that was a very good way to apply the lessons and not just talk about them!

Praying that something here blesses, encourages, challenges, motivates, etc. someone that is walking this road of training our children and others for Jesus!

The Duggar Family - Character Qualities

The Duggar Family - Character Qualities

Staying in line with our conversation on PRIORITIES...
Here's a great tool to use in training your children.
I need to get back to this. :-)
Last year during the school year, we would take one Character Quality per week and discussed it, learn about it, and try to apply it. I need to do that again. Praying you'll find this a helpful tool as well!

Find the downloadable link here. There are many, many other great resources available on the Duggar's family website. www.duggarfamily.com

Have a blessed day!