I'd do it all again

"I'd do it all again, Mom."

Those where the words that's spilled out from my stubborn, fiery, precious, eyes watering 10 year old boy.

It'd been a great day. One with nothing out of the ordinary. Normal. Safe. Good. Productive.

Even dinner went well. Which involved a piece of beef and for the afore mentioned child that is not a pleasant meal. He'd rather have one filled with his precious carbs and carbs alone. He never minds some veggies thrown in the mix either. Yet, we made it through without food drama. Then the question was asked if he could spend time with daddy. Of course.....

But remember those pages of Science and English that lie untouched. Put off. Undone.

"Really Mom? Do I have to do that?" came spilling out without a thought.

So, here it was - the moment. The môment that I had to chose. Let it go. No.
Responsibility is a lesson far greater than what lay ahead in the 2 subjects staring back at him.

But here was the question.....why didn't I see that I was ready to be done with school for the day?!
That we all were ready to be done with school for the day.

After this many years I should have seen the signs and let him go peacefully and joyfully with his dad and sister.  But I didn't. Why? Because then he'd think that he didn't have to do it tomorrow or the day after that.

Is that true....

No. It was about me controlling the situation. It needed to get done so, by golly, he was gonna do it.
Oh Mandy.....(yes, this could lead right into a song)

So we sat. He figitted. I stewed.  No one won.  He got it done. It wasn't a big deal. He really didn't even complain much about it. However, we both had an edge to us as we sat there. He said he'd never get it done.  I said that was silliness. He was getting it done. And then he said the thing that took my mommy heart and torn it right up.

"Well, at least you won't have to deal with me tomorrow."

There my heart lay.  Smashed wide open.  Beating yet bleeding out on the floor right in front of us.

Tears stung my eyes as I realized that I'd made him feel this way. Like my day would be better off without him.  How could I have been so careless?  We sat in silence for a few moments. He was hurting and knew he'd hurt me which made him hurt more.

(Flashback to the day after his surgery. Yet the written words could be used for a variety of life's events.)

I said that this silly ol' schoolwork doesn't matter at all to me! It wasn't about the schoolwork. It was about obeying with a good attitude even if you don't want to.  He nodded that he'd understood. Then I said that I knew getting back into the groove after having two weeks off for his tonsilectomy was a challenge.  In trying to show him my love, I said that I had absolutely adored and cherished the time that we'd spent laying in bed together....just being with each other.  To that he said with wet eyes,

"I'd do the surgery again to just have that time with you."

There his heart lay. Raw and open for me, his mama, to see. He loved that time together as much as I did. Saying it healed both of our hearts a bit...well, a lot I believe. We both share some of the same stubbornness. The tendency to fight for what we believe in (or simply what we want at the moment). I know that. He knows that.

Does he remember how much pain he was in? The 11 pounds weight lose because nothing sounded good and every bite hurt? The 8 day fever that just wouldn't go away? Here he was saying he'd go through it all again to spend quality time with me, his mama. Now that's the way to bring it all back into perspective. It's about relationships!

That made me think of Jesus and the sacrifice that He made for me. For you. As painful as the crucifixion was, He would do it all over! Why?! Just to be with me. Just to be with you. Why?! Because He wants a relationship with each of us....and to do that He had to endure the pain and sins of the entire world.

And He'd do it all again.....

Genuine Interest

Genuine Interest

When we are genuinely interested in others,

a graciousness comes over us that is compelling. (Sarah Breathnach)

Marita Bonner wrote in 1926, “We should not talk to people as if they were strange hard shells that we have to crack open to get inside.

We should talk as if we were already in the shell. In their very shell.”

Most of us have harried moments in our day, but by taking the time to step outside our own sphere to embrace others we open ourselves up to the power of the Holy Spirit who can then work in and through us. (S.B.)

Do I?

Greet everyone with a warm smile? ____________________________________________________________________________

Do I rush my encounters with people? ____________________________________________________________________________

Do I really take time to pray for others? ____________________________________________________________________________

Do I take time to pray WITH others? ____________________________________________________________________________

Do I listen attentively to them? ____________________________________________________________________________

Does everyone I speak to believe that I care for them? ____________________________________________________________________________

Do I lavish Jesus’ love on others? ____________________________________________________________________________

List someone that this is difficult to do with:

____________________________________________

I Corinthians 13

                                                    Ephesians 4:2-3

Unglued....more things that spoke to me

More quotes from Lysa TerKeurst's book Unglued:

pg 54 - We must bring all of our raw reactions under the authority of Jesus. Our best efforts at human reasoning and will power can't tame us. (See James 3:7-12)

"Who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show it by their good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom." James 3:13 - Our words must be spoken in the wisdom that comes from humility!
When we are humble, we realize our honesty can't be one-sided. We make an effort to see the situation from the other person's vantage point. And when we are wise, we pause and measure our words to the get at the heart of the issue without sabotaging the heart of our offender.

pg 64 - The secret to healthy conflict resolution isn't taking an against-me stance, but realizing it's all of us against Satan....he's the real enemy.

Crafting a Graceful Response Template

1. Begin by honoring the one offended. 

2. Keep your response short and full of grace. 

3. End by extending compassion. 

Choosing a gentle reply doesn't mean that you are week; it actually means you posses a rare and Godly strength. (FYI: I know that technically you are not supposed to capitalize the "G" in Godly. However, I switched over to "godly" for a while and just can't do it. So sorry if it bugs you but I am referencing a behavior that is in line with my Father God thus I must capitalize the "G" even in "God'ly'".)

pg 69 - My job is to be obedient to God in the midst of my own set of issues. 

pg 72 - When someone else's actions or statements threaten to pull me into a bad place, I have a choice. I do. It may not feel like it. In fact, it may feel like I'm a slave to my feelings - but I'm not. Feelings are indicators, not dictators. They can indicate there is a situation I need to deal with but they shouldn't dictate  how I react. I have a choice!

pg 73 - The answer to keeping God's power with me and working in me to produce self-control is letting God's Word get inside me.

pg 76 - Sometimes a girl can get worn out, wonder if she's ever going to stop exploding and feel like giving up. But before I give up, I've got to learn to hush up!!!

Unglued - My favorite quotes

I just finished reading Unglued: Making Wise Choises in the midst of raw emotions by Lysa TerKeurst.

It was fabulous.

For me anyways.


Here's some of my favorite excerpts: 

pg 13 - I know what it's like to praise God one minute and yell at my child the next. ;-(

pg 15 - Imperfect changes are slow steps of progress wrapped in grace....imperfect progress!

pg 16 - God gave us emotions. Emotions allow us to feel as we experience life. Because we feel, we connect. God gave me emotions so I could experience life, not destroy it! There is a gentle discipline to it all.

pg 16 - It's all about making PROGRESS!

pg 22 - Renewing our minds with God's Word and new thoughts is crucial. New thoughts come from new perspectives. 

pg 23 - I CAN face things that are out of my control and not ACT out of control. 

pg 28 - We can't always fix our circumstances, but we can fix our minds on God. 

Pg 33 - Labels are awful. They imprision us in categories that are hard to escape. BUT labels only stick if I let them!

pg 34 - O God, chisel me. I don't want to be locked in my hard places forever. I want to be free. I want to be all that You have in mind for me to be. 

"You are a chosen people, a royal preisthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light." I Peter 2:9

pg 40 - Perspective: A messy closet does not make me a mess. It makes me a child of God who has a messy closet!

pg 44 - Exploding means pushing emotions outward. A rush of feelings surge up and out of our mouths and bring a whole host of love-lies with them - stern words, harsh looks, raised voices, condemning attitudes, and demonstrative gestures.  

pg 44 - The telltale sign of being an exploder is not the decible level but having REACTIONS that feel good in the moment because it gets the YUCK OUT. But when we realize how we've spewed on others and the hurt we've caused, the regret falls heavy. Yes, we regret exploding, but we'll either deflect that regret by blaming someone else for our actions or we'll ingest that regreat by shaming ourselves. 

pg 46 - Exploders aren't always loud in conveying their point, but they do use their words and tone to make sure the other person FEELS their point. 

pg 52 - Kind. Smart. Important. That's who I am. And that's how I act and react a lot of the time. But not all the time. Especially when I feel unglued and the integrity of my soul unravels. 

pg 52 - Soul integity is the heart of what we're after. Soul integirty is honesty that's Godly. 

pg 53 - In realtiy, some "honesty" is just emotional spewing! That's why we need Godly honesty - honesty reined in by the Holy Spirit. 

http://lysaterkeurst.com/

More of my favorite points tomorrow....

Savoring Each Moment

"We do not lose heart. 

Even though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day.

 For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory, while we do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen. For the things which are seen are temporary,

 but the things which are not seen are eternal." 

2 Cor 4:16-18

To experience happiness we must train ourselves to live in this moment, to savor it for what it is, not running ahead in anticipation of some future date nor lagging behind in the paralysis of the past. With wholeness and sensitivity we must live in the here and now. "But what if I don't like the here and now?" you ask. "What if my present moment is one of disappointment or impairment or heartache? How then do I savor that moment?" Good questions. And the answers reside in the first and most profound principle for the art of savoring life: Pleasure lies in the heart, not in the happenstance. Our circumstances may be dreadful and riddled with reasons for discouragement or sorrow, but that doesn't mean those moments are utterly devoid of happiness. Those special savored moments of fun, reflection, happiness, and pleasure give us a tiny taste of what eternity with Christ will one day be like.  -  Luci Swindoll in You Bring the Confetti

"Oh taste and see that the Lord is good; 

Blessed is the man who trust in Him!

Oh, fear the Lord, you His saints!

There is no want to those who fear Him. 

The young lions lack and suffer hunger;

But those who seek the Lord shall not lack any good thing." 

Psalm 34:8-10

Lord, help me never forget the things You've taught me!

"My child, never forget the things I have taught you. Store my commands in your heart, for they will give you a long and satisfying life." Proverbs 3:1-2

"Never let loyalty and kindness get away from you! Wear them like a necklace; write them deep within your heart. Then you will find favor with both God and people, and you will gain a good reputation." Proverbs 3:3-4

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will direct your path." Proverbs 3:5-6

Lord, help me never forget the things that You have taught me. Things I have learned in Sunday School as a child. Sermons preached at camp meetings and college and everyday church....even a few TV sermons along the way. Scripture that I have stored from Your Word. Convictions the Holy Spirit has placed on my heart.

Lord, I desire to store Your commands in my heart. I want to have them in the forefront of my mind. If it's Your will, I would love to live a long and satisfying life. I know that only comes through walking with You in wisdom. Please help me do that.

Lord, I desire to be loyal. To You. To my husband. To my children. To my family. To my church family. To acquaintances. I really want to show kindness to those very same people. I need Your help when it's hard to be kind. When my emotions are raw or my frustration levels are high or it just doesn't seem to matter. I know that You desire me to wear kindness wherever I go. In my home. With my neighbors. With family and friends and strangers alike.  I am aware that having favor with You brings the greatest joy this life can offer. Having favor with people isn't half bad either. Your Word says that a good reputation is more valuable than fine gold. I desire to have a name that people associate with You. Not me. Not because of the things that I've done, but rather a reputation that honors You and points people to You.

Lord, trust isn't always easy. Some things just seem out of my hands. Yet, I know that You "work all things together for good to those who love You and are called according to Your purpose". Your Word never returns void and because of that I know I can trust You. But sometimes "knowing" and "doing" are two separate things. Often completely void of each other. My own wisdom has proven itself lacking, faulty, and in dire need of repair much more often than naught. I need the wisdom that only You can give.

Lord, I desire to seek You and Your will for my life. Have You noticed that I've been saying "if it's Your will" much more lately? Of course You have. I am aware that Your will is SOOOOO much more comprehensive, whole, fulfilling, loving, eternal, and  focused than mine. Mine is short-sited and temporal. Yours sees the big picture and knows what's around the next corner. Maybe I need to get knocked off the horse, so to speak, in order to miss a much bigger trial that would have hit me if I wouldn't have fallen. Or perhaps a blessing is waiting in a most unexpected place that only You know about. I want to trust You. I desire to seek Your will. I want to have Your wisdom, not my own. I fail daily. I fail by the hour and even minute somedays. Yet, You are faithful. Your mercies are new every morning. You have never left me and You promise to never forsake me. I trust that. Really, I do. With all my heart!

Love, Me

Boy Wanted

This "want ad" appeared in the early part of the last century. By Frank Crane

WANTED -
A boy that stands straight, sits straight, acts straight, and talks straight.
A boy whose fingernails are not in mourning, whose ears are clean, whose shoes are polished, whose clothes are brushed, whose hair is combed, and whose teeth are well cared for;
A boy who listens carefully when he is spoken to, who asks questions when he does not understand, and does not ask questions about things that are none of his business;
A boy that moves quickly and makes as little noise about it as possible;
A boy who whistles in the street, but does not whistle where he ought to keep still;
A boy who looks cheerful, has a ready smile for everybody, and never sulks;
A boy who is polite to every man and respectful to every woman and girl;
A boy who does not smoke cigarettes and has no desire to learn how;
A boy who is more eagar to know how to speak good English than to talk slang;
A boy that never bullies other boys nor allows other boys to bully him;
A boy who, when he does not know a thing, says, "I don't know," and when he has made a mistake says, "I'm sorry," and when he is asked to do a things says, "I'll try";
A boy who looks you right in the eye and tells the truth every time;
A boy who is eager to read good books;
A boy who would rather put in his spare time at the YMCA gymnasuium than to gamble for pennies in a back room;
A boy who does not want to be "smart" nor in any wise to attract attention;
A boy who would rather lose his job or be expelled from school than to tell a lie or be a cad;
A boy whom other boys like;
A boy who is at ease in the company of girls;
A boy who is not sorry for himself, and not forever thinking and talking about himself;
A boy who is friendly with his mother, and more intimate with her than anyone else;
A boy who makes you feel good when he is around;
A boy who is not goody-goody, a prig, or a little pharisee, but just healthy, happy, and full of life.
This boy is wanted everywhere. The family wants him, the school wants him, the office wants him, the boys want him, the girls want him, all creation wants him.

Ummhhh, I believe we will begin working through this list.... :-)