Thursday, May 21, 2015

Behavioralism gives our kids a false sense of morals.

Behavioralism gives our kids a false sense of morals. 
Again, Tedd Tripp gets credit for all the of the listed notes. 

I found this very interesting that behaviorists do not distinguish animal from human. 
Evolutionism at it's finest, or lowest, however you chose to look at it. 

I often feel this way! I instruct my kids to 
1) Do what I say. 
2) Take the test.
3) You'll get a reward for doing well. 
But, are they really learning? 

Oh, how I desire that my kids would have a LOVE OF LEARNING!
That feels like an insurmountable mountain most days. 
It's more about "getting it done". 

Tedd Tripp said, "The heart is being wrongfully trained when we try to manipulate their behavior." 

This seems to be a bit of an oxymoron to me. 
Don't we want our kids to BEHAVE.
Don't I need to tell them what to do and then expect them to do it. 
Don't they have to get their school lessons done whether they "like" it or not.
I would say YES. 
Perhaps the weight of this talk again lies with me?! 
Do I manipulate their behavior? 

  1. 1
    handle or control (a tool, mechanism, etc.), typically in a skillful manner.

  2. 2
    control or influence (a person or situation) cleverly, unfairly, or unscrupulously.

    Yes. I do. Isn't that my God given responsibility? 
    I suppose that train, disciple, guide are all more palatable?! 
    Those sound like better parenting than manipulating! 

    Here's the CORE of the message:
    When I manipulate my children, the gospel will NEVER be CORE or central in their lives. 

    Think on that. I am. 

 On to the next question, are my children manipulating me? 
And, am I allowing it? 

Lord, help us to all see our weakness and work TOGETHER to love better!
Love learning! 
Love playing!
Love each other! 
Love being with each other!
Love ministry! 
Love Jesus! 

The Bible: 
  1. Reveals to us that it's the HEART!                                               I know, I know. Here I go again. 

But it's because I'm still trying to figure out this heart thing. 

Training the HEART
manipulating the BEHAVIOR!

2. Shows us where the action come from!

3. Helps us and our kids understand out heart motives. 

4. Shows us the profound need of the gospel! (Inward cleaning)

It is MY responsiblitly to get my HEART right first and then help them function out of their desire to please Jesus - not simply behave! 

Monday, May 4, 2015

Getting to the heart of behavior

Getting to the HEART of behavior

All note credit goes to Tedd Tripp. 

Oh, how I loved hearing Tedd Tripp in person. I have read Shepherding a Child's Heart.                   But to see him; that was very special. Because in person, it was as if I was sitting in a grandpa's living room hearing him share his heart. Dr. Tripp referenced his grandchildren so often while he was sharing. His love for his own children, his grandchildren, and families in general was very evident! 

The heart is our wellspring. The core of our being! 

  1. an original and bountiful source of something.

    Our body is the mediator of actions, but our heart is the INITIATOR!

    We, as parents, get very focused on the "appearance" of our kids.
    "What will others think?" 


    Whatever you treasure OWNS your heart!

    Jesus turned the law upside down and says it is not about external behavior, but rather what is coming from your heart. Not that outward behavior doesn't matter, but our behavior is an outflow of our heart....thus, a big cycle, hamster wheel, merry go round. Behavior without motives of the heart being revealed may last for a while, but ultimately others will SEE our heart through our actions. 

    Matthew 15:17-20
    Mark 7:20-23

    Apart from grace, we are ALL depraved. Me, my children. We are one in the same. 
    Jesus. His grace. His forgiveness. 
    That's it. That's the answer! 
    No gimmicks. No schemes. No books. No disciplinary techniques. 
    Just JESUS and His grace!

    I posted a few days ago about words and how they matter. 
    Do they? Yes. But, perhaps words aren't the issue?! 
    Quite possibly, my vision was askew when writing that. 
    Although my words are important, it's the way I say them. 
    The meaning behind them. 
    The undercurrent running through them. 
    The "heart" of them. 
    I need to focus on my heart condition FIRST. 
    Trying to "control" my words, especially in regards to training my children, will never work. 
    In my own strength, my words will not be useful for training. Because...

    I loved this line from Dr. Tripp. 

    "When we shame or guilt our kids, it shows that we have NO joy!" 
    This is manipulating their behavior instead of reaching their heart. 
    It should be our desire to help them see their need to have God "create in them a clean heart". 
    Their real need from their parents is to see the grace and love of Jesus in and through us, 
    which will ultimately point them to the heart of God. 

Friday, May 1, 2015

Law vs Gospel

All credit for notes go to Voddie Baucham!

This past weekend, I had the joy and priviledge of once again attending the Christian Heritage Conference in Bothell, WA. I can't even express in words what an encouragement it is.

These are my notes from the first general session.

LAW says what I must DO. 
The GOSPEL tells what Christ has DONE. 

I Corinthians 15:1-11

We MUST get the Gospel right! 

Errors that we have concerning the Gospel:

1) Some confuse the gospel with the plan of salvation. If the gospel is just how we get saved, then after salvation the gospel is not used. If we negate the gospel, we only have law left! Legalism!

2) The gospel is all the moral teachings of Jesus. 
This leads us to DO what Jesus said. 

3) The gospel is not the same thing as the Great Commandment (Love God; Love People). These are two separate things! 

Gospel - GOOD NEWS! It's an announcement of Jesus' victory!  It's to be ANNOUNCED! 

  • We cannot live the gospel; we live in light of the gospel. 

  • We must proclaim a historical gospel. 

  • God is @ the center of the gospel, not us! We are not the center of the universe. He is!

  • Obedience is what the gospel PRODUCES; not what is required. 

Hold out the law before your children, but with the understanding of Jesus' grace!                           Christ died to FREE us from the LAW, but our heart should DESIRE to please our Father. 

Bunny Trail: Ephesians 4:32 BE YE KIND! It should be a common verse in our home. 
I cannot be kind enough in my own flesh! It is because Christ forgave me!                                         That's the ONLY way it will actually happen. 
It (everything) is only through Jesus; not us!