Thursday, May 21, 2015

Behavioralism gives our kids a false sense of morals.

Behavioralism gives our kids a false sense of morals. 
Again, Tedd Tripp gets credit for all the of the listed notes. 

I found this very interesting that behaviorists do not distinguish animal from human. 
Evolutionism at it's finest, or lowest, however you chose to look at it. 

I often feel this way! I instruct my kids to 
1) Do what I say. 
2) Take the test.
3) You'll get a reward for doing well. 
But, are they really learning? 

Oh, how I desire that my kids would have a LOVE OF LEARNING!
That feels like an insurmountable mountain most days. 
It's more about "getting it done". 

Tedd Tripp said, "The heart is being wrongfully trained when we try to manipulate their behavior." 

This seems to be a bit of an oxymoron to me. 
Don't we want our kids to BEHAVE.
Don't I need to tell them what to do and then expect them to do it. 
Don't they have to get their school lessons done whether they "like" it or not.
I would say YES. 
Perhaps the weight of this talk again lies with me?! 
Do I manipulate their behavior? 

  1. 1
    handle or control (a tool, mechanism, etc.), typically in a skillful manner.

  2. 2
    control or influence (a person or situation) cleverly, unfairly, or unscrupulously.

    Yes. I do. Isn't that my God given responsibility? 
    I suppose that train, disciple, guide are all more palatable?! 
    Those sound like better parenting than manipulating! 

    Here's the CORE of the message:
    When I manipulate my children, the gospel will NEVER be CORE or central in their lives. 

    Think on that. I am. 

 On to the next question, are my children manipulating me? 
And, am I allowing it? 

Lord, help us to all see our weakness and work TOGETHER to love better!
Love learning! 
Love playing!
Love each other! 
Love being with each other!
Love ministry! 
Love Jesus! 

The Bible: 
  1. Reveals to us that it's the HEART!                                               I know, I know. Here I go again. 

But it's because I'm still trying to figure out this heart thing. 

Training the HEART
manipulating the BEHAVIOR!

2. Shows us where the action come from!

3. Helps us and our kids understand out heart motives. 

4. Shows us the profound need of the gospel! (Inward cleaning)

It is MY responsiblitly to get my HEART right first and then help them function out of their desire to please Jesus - not simply behave! 

Monday, May 4, 2015

Getting to the heart of behavior

Getting to the HEART of behavior

All note credit goes to Tedd Tripp. 

Oh, how I loved hearing Tedd Tripp in person. I have read Shepherding a Child's Heart.                   But to see him; that was very special. Because in person, it was as if I was sitting in a grandpa's living room hearing him share his heart. Dr. Tripp referenced his grandchildren so often while he was sharing. His love for his own children, his grandchildren, and families in general was very evident! 

The heart is our wellspring. The core of our being! 

  1. an original and bountiful source of something.

    Our body is the mediator of actions, but our heart is the INITIATOR!

    We, as parents, get very focused on the "appearance" of our kids.
    "What will others think?" 


    Whatever you treasure OWNS your heart!

    Jesus turned the law upside down and says it is not about external behavior, but rather what is coming from your heart. Not that outward behavior doesn't matter, but our behavior is an outflow of our heart....thus, a big cycle, hamster wheel, merry go round. Behavior without motives of the heart being revealed may last for a while, but ultimately others will SEE our heart through our actions. 

    Matthew 15:17-20
    Mark 7:20-23

    Apart from grace, we are ALL depraved. Me, my children. We are one in the same. 
    Jesus. His grace. His forgiveness. 
    That's it. That's the answer! 
    No gimmicks. No schemes. No books. No disciplinary techniques. 
    Just JESUS and His grace!

    I posted a few days ago about words and how they matter. 
    Do they? Yes. But, perhaps words aren't the issue?! 
    Quite possibly, my vision was askew when writing that. 
    Although my words are important, it's the way I say them. 
    The meaning behind them. 
    The undercurrent running through them. 
    The "heart" of them. 
    I need to focus on my heart condition FIRST. 
    Trying to "control" my words, especially in regards to training my children, will never work. 
    In my own strength, my words will not be useful for training. Because...

    I loved this line from Dr. Tripp. 

    "When we shame or guilt our kids, it shows that we have NO joy!" 
    This is manipulating their behavior instead of reaching their heart. 
    It should be our desire to help them see their need to have God "create in them a clean heart". 
    Their real need from their parents is to see the grace and love of Jesus in and through us, 
    which will ultimately point them to the heart of God. 

Friday, May 1, 2015

Law vs Gospel

All credit for notes go to Voddie Baucham!

This past weekend, I had the joy and priviledge of once again attending the Christian Heritage Conference in Bothell, WA. I can't even express in words what an encouragement it is.

These are my notes from the first general session.

LAW says what I must DO. 
The GOSPEL tells what Christ has DONE. 

I Corinthians 15:1-11

We MUST get the Gospel right! 

Errors that we have concerning the Gospel:

1) Some confuse the gospel with the plan of salvation. If the gospel is just how we get saved, then after salvation the gospel is not used. If we negate the gospel, we only have law left! Legalism!

2) The gospel is all the moral teachings of Jesus. 
This leads us to DO what Jesus said. 

3) The gospel is not the same thing as the Great Commandment (Love God; Love People). These are two separate things! 

Gospel - GOOD NEWS! It's an announcement of Jesus' victory!  It's to be ANNOUNCED! 

  • We cannot live the gospel; we live in light of the gospel. 

  • We must proclaim a historical gospel. 

  • God is @ the center of the gospel, not us! We are not the center of the universe. He is!

  • Obedience is what the gospel PRODUCES; not what is required. 

Hold out the law before your children, but with the understanding of Jesus' grace!                           Christ died to FREE us from the LAW, but our heart should DESIRE to please our Father. 

Bunny Trail: Ephesians 4:32 BE YE KIND! It should be a common verse in our home. 
I cannot be kind enough in my own flesh! It is because Christ forgave me!                                         That's the ONLY way it will actually happen. 
It (everything) is only through Jesus; not us!

Saturday, April 25, 2015

Time flies!

I am a blogger.
No I'm not.
It's been over two years since I posted last.
That is unreal. I thought it had been like 10 months. Not even a full year. Yet in reality, it's been two years and five months.
How does time fly so fast?
Isn't that how life goes
I look at my kids growing and wonder how it's all going down like this. But, I know that we are here but only for a moment.

Reagan is now 10!

Javon is now 12!

How we use those moments are what matter. 
Tonight as I sit in bed, cuddled with my dog, and the kids are away at Nana's having a sleepover,         I remind myself that words matter. Things I say matter.

Words I type matter.

Since I'm being so matter of fact, ;-) words I think really make all the difference in the world becuase out of the mouth flows the things of the heart.

Words that I read matter.

Words that I hear are influencers as well.

And the odd thing, is that words that I write are significant as well. I find that when I pen things, somehow a different part of me comes to life. One that, honestly, I like better than the one without this putting down words on paper or a screen.
Why is that? I'm not sure.
Perhaps it's letting out things that would otherwise remain inside. thus making room for more things to fill me up. More of Jesus is my desire. Yes, that's it. The more I give out. Whatever that looks like - time, talents, words, love - the more room that I have for Jesus to fill me up and be used again.
I'm going with that. :-)
Hope to do this again before two years come and go.

Wednesday, September 4, 2013

Back to School

I won't chat long because we're wrapping up day 3 of this year's school season. 
It's went really well and I'm praying that it's a precurser for what lies ahead this year. 
Not as much resistance from my son as in years past. 
I keep telling myself that there will still be tough days,
but overall I can see the fruit of perseverance and persistence paying off as the kids get older. 
There is absolutely no other schooling option that I would choose for my family. 
But over the years, I have been in those moments where I felt why some parents would throw in the towel. 
It's a full time job on top of all the other responsibilities of being a mother, wife, taking care of the house and animals, plus for some an added part time job to top it off. Yet, with all the things pulling at me, 
I would never ever in a million years or for a million dollars give up this time teaching and training my kids. 
It's a blessing beyond words!

Here's something that I ran across and thought was a good reminder that all of our kids learn differently and it's our responsibility to teach them accordingly.

Bookworms - right at home in a bookish environment.
Treeclimbers - can't sit still at a desk.
Daydreamers - can't complete a workbook in the given amount of time. 
Cuddlers - don't care what you know till they know how much you care. 

Thursday, August 29, 2013

If you take it out, put it back!

"The ordinary arts we practice every day at home are more important to the soul than their simplicity might suggest." Thomas Moore

My soul truly does feel much more at peace when I have my house in order. The past several years have been the most awaking in this area. Prior to 4ish years ago, I tended to clean for "others". However, I have found the joy and peace it bring to me when I do "if only for me". So although no where near perfect or as consistent as I'd like to be, I have learned and continue to do so in this area. 

The Shakers believed that their daily work, including housekeeping,
 was a personal expression of worship. 

"Prayer and housekeeping - they go together. They have always gone together. We simply know that our daily round is how we live. When we clean and order our homes, we are somehow also cleaning and ordering ourselves." Gunilla Norris

How we care for our home is a subtle but significant expression of self-esteem. 

"If home doesn't make sense, nothing does." Henrietta Ripperger

Getting our houses in order and endowing our children with a respect for, and appreciation of, order is one of the most precious gifts we can give them and ourselves. I appreciate that my mom always kept a tidy and clean home and instilled that value in her children. Although she never made us do dishes and now none of us girls enjoy that chore! :-) Her favorite thing to do is the "anywhere you go game" which just means if you see something that needs put away, then put it away as you go. 

Sanity is preserved with planning!

Have you ever seen one of those plaques that says?

1) If you take it out, put it back. 
2) If you open it, close it. 
3) If you throw it down, pick it up. 
4) If you take it off, hang it up.

"Drudgery can be transformed, through a willing and open heart, into labors of love"....said someone, somewhere, at some time. 

"Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for Him....cease from anger and forsake wrath." Psalm 37:7-8

There's no reason to get angry and upset if you aren't where you'd like to be as far as home organization and cleanliness. I'm not there either. But often, not having a plan and daily working at organizing and cleaning various things DOES lead to anger and frustration at yourself and others. 

God worked and then rested....just a thought. :-)

What are some of your favorite tips for keeping up on housework?